All the things I don't like about Las Vegas

I do not enjoy Las Vegas. No one I talk to does either. In spite of my curmudgeonry we always manage to have a good time though - going to a miserable place does does not make us miserable people.

But on that not, here is an ordered list of the things I do not like about Las Vegas:

Smoking Indoors

The air filtration system inside casinos is a modern miracle, but it is still shitty and it still stinks inside there. I don't think they'll ever widely get rid of smoking/vaping indoors in Vegas I'd wager there is a significant overlap between people who vape and people who are willing to dump all sorts of money into a slot machine.

Positive shoutout Park MGM and nomad for being smoke free.

The Advertisements

The person who thought up playing advertisements to a captive audience inside a taxi cab is probably both insanely wealthy and psychopathic. That one casino on the strip that advertises free 20 dollar credit on 100 dollar losses is also miserable.

The Food

Yes I know "VeGaS HaS MiChEliN StAr ResTauRanTs", but no one whose in Vegas, especially for re:invent eats at them every meal. The food available is bad without being awful in a way that is truly hard to articulate. Maybe it's a trick of the mind that restaurant food you get when you're not in Vegas is typically really good, and Vegas just let's you down. Even places that seem upscale and are pricy don't deliver the quality. 

Casino-rynths

To the lay person it seems like all the casinos on the strips are designed in such a way to get you lost and hope that you accidentally spend some money. After you've been in enough of them you learn to think like an evil architect and learn how to navigate past the intentionally confusing signage.

Constant music

It feels like everywhere you go there is non-stop pop music playing. A blend of non-offensive pop hits from the past 60 years. It gets old incredibly fast.

Shit coffee

There's some great places off strip, but the average quality of a cup of coffee anywhere near re:invent is insanely low, worse than anywhere I've ever seen before.

Honourable mention here for the nightmarish Starbucks lines. The line is my only natural enemy and I would never participate in one of these but I cannot fathom the sort of person who gets in a 60-70 person deep Starbucks line.

Hotel showers

Every hotel room I've had in Vegas has a shower that is both too short and can't be set at an angle I like. Many of them are the doorless shower design that also just gets water all over the damn floor.

There's a lot of angry people

More so than other places I go, the people in Vegas seem to be upset. I see a lot of road rage, I hear a lot of shouting and yelling, and people don't seem to be getting along well. 

Traffic sucks 

Getting anywhere that is not on the monorail line can be a nightmare. Everything is further than it looks on the map, so everyone ubers and taxis - but because everyone ubers and taxis, the road is a mess.

Special shoutout to how miserable some of the uber/taxi stands are at some hotels (looking at you Venetian!)

If you're going have lots of places to be, try to get a place that is both central and on the monorail if you can.

It's depressing

Most of the time the casino's aren't fun exciting places like you see in movies. They're in reality very low energy places with an artifice of excitement injected in. It's no coincidence that most of the floor space in a casino is slot machines, and people are just sitting there by themselves dumping money into exchange for bright lights to look at.

This is particularly true on the strip, however in all fairness Freemont carries more energy.